My Pandemic Journal - 3-20-2020

I have finally figured out how I want to go forward with my blog for a while, I will split apart my daily journal on the Pandemic and my Running Log. I just can't reconcile the importance to me of getting my thoughts out of my head regarding the seriousness of the Pandemic and in the same blog post discuss something as mundane as my running. While they are happening during the same day, they are very different emotions and thoughts that I am capturing. I just need to separate them and it took me a while to figure that out.

Daily life has become very different for us all and this journal is just a small thing I am doing to help me get through this time in our lives. This Pandemic is not going to be over in a few weeks, I have a feeling that the time frame will be measured in months to a year before life resemble anything close to normal again.

If the experts and scientists are correct the Covid 19 virus will be coming at us in waves of various sizes until they create an effective vaccine or we reach herd immunity. So this is not going to be a quick, its done and over kind of outbreak.

The thoughts that I write down here are my own and I am doing this journal only for my own uses if you want to read them cool beans if you don't like what I say or am thinking, please skip these posts. I will probably be turning off the comments on these posts just because I don't want to deal with the bots and trolls that they will attract.

Today was one where I spent a lot of time reflecting on things going on around us, but not so much to bring me down or anything. More to decide what things I can control or the things that I can't, let go of what I can't and do the best I can going forward.

It is tough to focus on writing down my thoughts during the Covid-19 pandemic - just being honest. Due to the way things are coming at us, I have a tough time in the evenings getting my thoughts out of my head and am mentally exhausted with the efforts of simply getting through the day without lashing out at others or going off into a corner to hide for a while, hoping that all of this is nothing but a bad dream.

I know that it is not and that the reality is that this is our life for a while and that I am luckier than most, based mostly on where we live and our chosen lifestyle prior to the Covid-19 virus coming to our shores.

It is not so much that I am scared or worried about what is going on, it is more that I/we just do not know what is really happening, where the virus actually is, who has it, whether we have been exposed or even if we have already had the virus and finally have lost confidence in the Federal Government's creditability to provide the truth about Covid-19 in a coherent or supportive manner. Which sucks, because I like most other people depend on our leaders to lead and bring us together during emergencies like this.

I actually watch the news conferences, speeches, listen to what is coming out of the mouths of our leaders, not just the sound bites or what the pundits or reporters say that they said. So I am seeing what they are telling us and so far it is not what I expected from them.

If I were to say completely how I really feel about our national leadership right now, then how much am I in my own small circle undercutting the little confidence that I want to have or that others might have. So I just let the tip of my frustrations show through.

Although if yesterday's response to a question by a reporter is how the President is going to react to a question that could have been turned into a great sound bite to reassure the American people that his administration is doing everything possible to get ahead of the pandemic. Instead, he turned it into something else, which is a problem and not the answer Americans were looking for.

It will also be interesting to see how Dr. Fauci is featured during future interviews after he disagreed publicly with the President and also did the facepalm while he was talking. I wonder if he will suddenly not be a part of the official party for a while, be required to toe the party line or suddenly be unavailable to answer questions within his expertise. Which would be a mistake, because he is about the only one the stage with a great deal of creditability right now, I see the rest as water carriers and only spouting the party line.

No matter how much leadership just wants this pandemic to go away - now, unfortunately for everyone that is not how a pandemic works and most likely the worst is yet to come. The Covid-19 virus is on our shores and where it came from does not matter.

Now is the time for us to come together, use all the resources at our disposal to get through this time as best we can and do what is necessary to see that as many do survive the pandemic as possible. We can look back and point fingers when this shit is behind us.

What I do expect is leadership from those in power, not whining, divisive finger-pointing and using science to make decisions to lead us out of this dark time, not gut feelings.

Oh well, enough of the dark stuff and heavy words.

I did have one of the better runs I have had in a while

This post was written for and first appeared on One Foot In Reality.